The urban milieu in India today has made marriage more of a matter of choice rather than a social obligation, then what’s making them tick?
This continuity of the great Indian institution of marriage can be attributed to the modern day companionship, couples are bonding in newer ways than before. It is interesting to take a look at the contemporary patterns of relationships.
“Marriages are made in Heaven”- an adage that we have grown up hearing have acquired an all new dimension in the current times. However, to say that everything has changed about marriages is not true. After all, the newspaper matrimonial columns were always there, today there are the proficient online matrimonial portals; earlier a bunch of well meaning relatives and friends were the unofficial wedding planners dishing out customised services. Earlier, not everything was branded about weddings. Today, brand ‘Indian Wedding’ looms larger than anything else. but more than the weddings, today’s relationships are not racing far behind as strong contenders in the brand behemoth.
The Age of ‘Instant Coffee’
Like instant coffee and instant noodles, we have made our relationships also very two- minutes oriented. We want instant gratification and recognition for our work, for the love we express and for the responsibilities we shoulder. We are ready with our answers and in return expect reasoned answers from others. This adds to rising stress levels and a myriad of psychological turmoils like attention disorder problem, anxiety, depression, and the like. The positive thing that has also come out from this want- gratification nexus is our ability to voice our opinion, seek love and choose our significant other without the pressure of any pre-conceived notion. We are no longer caught in the mirage of falling prey to misjudged notions of marital bliss.
The “I-am-like-this-only Generation”
The phenomenon of the profusion of online bloggers, critics, analysts etc have meant the birth of a new kind of democracy in thoughts and opinions. As an off-shoot of the rising power of the consumerist, we have started loving the philosophy that whatever we say, think, feel, express and crave for has a ‘value’ and a bearing in the real world. This means we are eager to express Brand ‘Me’ and listen less to Brand ‘You’, especially if it’s not upto our liking. This license to self-branding creates both originals and fakes, but, viewed from a different perspective, this has also reduced the need to pretend and project.
Freedom to Bond
But, hang on, are you wondering where’s the spice that is bred by spontaneity? There are those pairs who do not care about such demarcations and try to merge their individual interests into a couple space. Above all, sharing the lighter moments of life together deepens the trust factor.
The Variety in Planet Love
In modern day, the point of bonding in couples can encompass a multitude of interests – cooking or gastronomical passion, adventurous or holiday spirit, charitable concerns, passion for the theatre, passion for doing business together, passion for raising their children in a very healthy and a positive environment, commitment to support one partner’s talents whole-heartedly so that she/he can fulfill her/his dreams etc. The backpacker-or-holidaying duo is good at their respective jobs, has their own sets of friends, but round the year what keeps them hooked to one another is their shared interest in ‘discovering’ the tiny hamlet off the seashore, going for river rafting, spending thrilling nights in a camp or sipping the local ‘chai’ at a hillside corner.
Travelling brings them closer and reveals to them moments of togetherness that their otherwise busy schedules do not permit. Similarly, the foodie couple dons the chef’s hat and discovers laden joys of togetherness in decorating the prawn curry or jazzing up the melon sorbet. The succulent taste of morsels of well cooked food leaves them satiated but only in the glowing company of their married companion.
Friendship has also emerged as a strongly felt emotion amongst couples cutting across age groups. In a society, where individuals are self sufficient, the need for a friend in one’s partner is more acutely felt than before. One can probably do with a partner who has no head for mush, but one can’t probably do with one who has no heart for caring. It helps if your partner understands your late working hours, your zeal to learn yoga and your mood to talk, talk, talk… So, even though there can be no straight classifications under which relationships can be typified, what has emerged as a larger social pattern is love, which is quite mature and reciprocal and friendship that is shared. So, apart from your blueberry cheesecake and cappuccino shots, give love a fresh chance this season, that is, if you have not yet tried your luck. You will not regret it for sure.